the deep end of the ocean

children's drawings are openings, portals to other worlds rooted in magical places where sense is a new way of thinking, where thinking is embodied in breathing.

some days it almost plucks out my weeping heart and snaps me up with spectacular guilt. his little soul brimming with too big, too fast, too much, mirroring his sadness, his anger and pain. and I don't know what to do. I pray. I rationalize. I cling to the tiniest particle of smile on my son's face. I embrace, I forgive, I surrender, I understand, I cuddle. I love.

but my little baby still hurts. and it's killing me.

Comments

[Vanessa]

This is the time in your life that you need to be very, very aggressive. Getting him some help is exactly what you all need, and if you see that the therapist isn't helping, go to another one, and don't stop until you feel it's working and your darling baby boy is feeling and acting happier. My prayers go out to you, my dear friend.

[liz elayne]

oh irene this sounds so very difficult. keep doing the best you can. you are wise, and brave, and strong and you will get him the help he needs. you are not alone dearheart. even though i do not have children, so i can relate on that level, i can relate human to human. i am thinking of you and sending positive energy that you will find the guidance you need.

[jess]

Irene! I'm sorry. Kids are complicated and hard and heartbreaking.

I took one of my kids to a psychiatrist for four sessions. I found it immensely helpful There was no medication involved. It was just a chance for us all to talk and someone who wasn't emotionally involved to give concrete advice and, even, step by step instructions on how to help my child.

For me, it was worth every penny. I still use her advice today on all my kids.

[Nicole]

Follow your heart. Hold his hand. You can do this.

[jenny vorwaller]

this is SOOO adorable. i love the lettering! keep it FOREVER. ;)